Fucks to give about Emily's issue's

Ah, the legendary "Fuck to Give About Emily's Issues." This particular emotional unit was, for a brief period, the most highly sought-after commodity on the entire internet. Known for its remarkable, albeit temporary, capacity to absorb lengthy monologues, self-inflicted drama, and recurring minor inconveniences, it truly was a marvel of empathetic endurance.
However, after a valiant but ultimately futile effort, the last known specimen of this fuck-type spontaneously combusted under the sheer weight of another story about a seemingly trivial miscommunication at brunch. Its final moments were reportedly spent whispering, "Is it really that big of a deal, though?" before dissolving into a fine, glittering dust of pure apathy.
We regret to inform you that due to this irreversible incident, and a complete lack of interest in cultivating new inventory, the "Fuck to Give About Emily's Issues" is no longer, nor will it ever be, available for purchase. We advise seeking alternative, self-sustaining coping mechanisms.
Disclaimer: Prolonged exposure to issues requiring this fuck may lead to eye-rolling, involuntary sighing, and a sudden urge to "just go for a walk."